Knowledge Journal
Yes interesting how it triggering for me to feel ignored and not acknowledge- that’s one way I feel neglected
Yes — feeling ignored or not acknowledged can land very deeply because it’s not just about the present moment, it can echo all the way back to earlier experiences of emotional neglect.
When acknowledgment is missing, it can feel like:
- **Invisible:** as if your presence or contributions don’t matter.
- **Unworthy:** like you’re not worth noticing or responding to.
- **Disconnected:** as though there’s a gap between you and others, no bridge being built.
For many people, especially those who grew up in environments where emotional attunement was rare, being acknowledged isn’t just “nice” — it’s a *core need*. When it doesn’t happen, the nervous system can quickly switch into protection mode (hurt, anger, withdrawal, overexplaining, or seeking validation).
The healing work here often involves:
- **Noticing the trigger quickly** (naming it: “I’m feeling unseen right now”).
- **Separating then from now** (reminding yourself this moment isn’t the same as past neglect, even if it feels similar).
- **Finding safe acknowledgment** (through self-validation or from people who *do* see and value you).
If you want, I can also help you map exactly how *acknowledgment gaps* from childhood might still be shaping the way you feel in present-day relationships. That way, you’d have a kind of “emotional compass” for it.
When acknowledgment is missing, it can feel like:
- **Invisible:** as if your presence or contributions don’t matter.
- **Unworthy:** like you’re not worth noticing or responding to.
- **Disconnected:** as though there’s a gap between you and others, no bridge being built.
For many people, especially those who grew up in environments where emotional attunement was rare, being acknowledged isn’t just “nice” — it’s a *core need*. When it doesn’t happen, the nervous system can quickly switch into protection mode (hurt, anger, withdrawal, overexplaining, or seeking validation).
The healing work here often involves:
- **Noticing the trigger quickly** (naming it: “I’m feeling unseen right now”).
- **Separating then from now** (reminding yourself this moment isn’t the same as past neglect, even if it feels similar).
- **Finding safe acknowledgment** (through self-validation or from people who *do* see and value you).
If you want, I can also help you map exactly how *acknowledgment gaps* from childhood might still be shaping the way you feel in present-day relationships. That way, you’d have a kind of “emotional compass” for it.
Yes I feel it especially in my heart a deep emptiness
That deep emptiness you feel in your heart when you’re not acknowledged is very telling — it’s almost like your body is remembering every time that need went unmet.
It’s not just a fleeting sadness; it’s a *hollow space* where connection was supposed to be. In childhood, acknowledgment acts like a steady flame — warming you, letting you know “I see you, you matter.” When it’s absent, that flame can dim or even go out for long stretches, leaving that cold, open space inside.
In the present, each time you’re ignored or overlooked, it’s like the air rushes back into that old emptiness, making it feel even deeper. That’s why the sensation can feel *disproportionate* compared to the situation — because you’re not only feeling *this* moment, you’re also feeling *those* moments from years ago.
One way to work with this is to actively tend to that emptiness *in the moment* rather than waiting for someone else to fill it:
- Place a hand over your heart and say internally, *“I see you. You matter to me.”*
- Visualize your heart space being gently filled with warm light or steady embers — something that stays regardless of others’ responses.
- Later, reflect on whether the person who didn’t acknowledge you is actually capable of seeing you in the way you need — sometimes the emptiness comes from asking for water at a dry well.
If you’d like, I can help you put this into a **Lucea Healing heart-ember framework** so you can map the exact moments your heart ember dims and how to re-brighten it. That way, the “emptiness” becomes a signal instead of a spiral.
It’s not just a fleeting sadness; it’s a *hollow space* where connection was supposed to be. In childhood, acknowledgment acts like a steady flame — warming you, letting you know “I see you, you matter.” When it’s absent, that flame can dim or even go out for long stretches, leaving that cold, open space inside.
In the present, each time you’re ignored or overlooked, it’s like the air rushes back into that old emptiness, making it feel even deeper. That’s why the sensation can feel *disproportionate* compared to the situation — because you’re not only feeling *this* moment, you’re also feeling *those* moments from years ago.
One way to work with this is to actively tend to that emptiness *in the moment* rather than waiting for someone else to fill it:
- Place a hand over your heart and say internally, *“I see you. You matter to me.”*
- Visualize your heart space being gently filled with warm light or steady embers — something that stays regardless of others’ responses.
- Later, reflect on whether the person who didn’t acknowledge you is actually capable of seeing you in the way you need — sometimes the emptiness comes from asking for water at a dry well.
If you’d like, I can help you put this into a **Lucea Healing heart-ember framework** so you can map the exact moments your heart ember dims and how to re-brighten it. That way, the “emptiness” becomes a signal instead of a spiral.
It’s almost like I feel forgotten or maybe - different
Yes — that “forgotten or different” feeling is such a core wound, and it can hit in two slightly different ways:
- **Forgotten** feels like you were left out of the mental and emotional picture altogether — as if no one even thought to hold you in mind. That can stir up feelings of *abandonment* or *nonexistence*.
- **Different** feels like you’re somehow *set apart*, maybe not fully belonging in the circle. This can carry a mix of *isolation* and *self-consciousness* — like you’re on the outside looking in, or your way of being just doesn’t “fit” with the group.
When those two blend, it’s almost like your nervous system says:
> “Not only am I not included, but maybe there’s *something about me* that means I never will be.”
That’s why the emptiness in your heart can feel so sharp — it’s touching both *connection loss* and *identity disconnection* at once.
If you want, I can help you untangle which part is more dominant for you — the *forgotten* layer or the *different* layer — because how you tend to your heart ember will be slightly different for each. For example:
- If it’s **forgotten**, the healing focus is on *reminding yourself you exist* in powerful, present ways.
- If it’s **different**, the focus is on *honouring your uniqueness* while still building bridges of connection.
Do you want me to break that down so you can see where your current trigger sits?
- **Forgotten** feels like you were left out of the mental and emotional picture altogether — as if no one even thought to hold you in mind. That can stir up feelings of *abandonment* or *nonexistence*.
- **Different** feels like you’re somehow *set apart*, maybe not fully belonging in the circle. This can carry a mix of *isolation* and *self-consciousness* — like you’re on the outside looking in, or your way of being just doesn’t “fit” with the group.
When those two blend, it’s almost like your nervous system says:
> “Not only am I not included, but maybe there’s *something about me* that means I never will be.”
That’s why the emptiness in your heart can feel so sharp — it’s touching both *connection loss* and *identity disconnection* at once.
If you want, I can help you untangle which part is more dominant for you — the *forgotten* layer or the *different* layer — because how you tend to your heart ember will be slightly different for each. For example:
- If it’s **forgotten**, the healing focus is on *reminding yourself you exist* in powerful, present ways.
- If it’s **different**, the focus is on *honouring your uniqueness* while still building bridges of connection.
Do you want me to break that down so you can see where your current trigger sits?
I especially feel it when for example my husband takes the kids to his sisters house or the kids will be gone for long stretches of time and there is no bridge being build
That makes complete sense — in those moments, it’s not just about the physical separation, it’s about the *absence of connection while apart*.
When there’s “no bridge being built,” it can feel like:
- You’ve been temporarily *set aside* from the flow of the family.
- Life is happening in another space, and you’re not woven into it.
- The people you love most are in a place you can’t feel or see, and no one’s reaching back to include you in some way.
For someone with past experiences of feeling forgotten or emotionally left out, this kind of gap can reawaken that deep heart-emptiness. It’s not the alone time that hurts — it’s the *disconnection*.
Bridges can be small but powerful: a quick text, a shared photo, a short call, a simple “thinking of you.” Without them, the nervous system can interpret the silence as *absence of care*.
I think for you, part of the trigger is:
1. **Past echoes** — times when people went on with life without you and didn’t loop you in.
2. **Present meaning** — your mind and body read the current gap as “I’m not being held in mind right now.”
If you like, I can help you shape this into a **Heart Ember Communication Need** you could share with your husband — a way to explain that it’s not about monitoring or control, but about keeping the emotional bridge alive while you’re apart. That way, it becomes a clear, loving request rather than an unspoken hurt.
Would you like me to put that into words you could use with him?
When there’s “no bridge being built,” it can feel like:
- You’ve been temporarily *set aside* from the flow of the family.
- Life is happening in another space, and you’re not woven into it.
- The people you love most are in a place you can’t feel or see, and no one’s reaching back to include you in some way.
For someone with past experiences of feeling forgotten or emotionally left out, this kind of gap can reawaken that deep heart-emptiness. It’s not the alone time that hurts — it’s the *disconnection*.
Bridges can be small but powerful: a quick text, a shared photo, a short call, a simple “thinking of you.” Without them, the nervous system can interpret the silence as *absence of care*.
I think for you, part of the trigger is:
1. **Past echoes** — times when people went on with life without you and didn’t loop you in.
2. **Present meaning** — your mind and body read the current gap as “I’m not being held in mind right now.”
If you like, I can help you shape this into a **Heart Ember Communication Need** you could share with your husband — a way to explain that it’s not about monitoring or control, but about keeping the emotional bridge alive while you’re apart. That way, it becomes a clear, loving request rather than an unspoken hurt.
Would you like me to put that into words you could use with him?
I called my husband he said they arrived and the kids are there but he diesnt think of texting or calling me to tell me
Right — and that’s exactly the gap your nervous system feels.
To him, *arrival* is just a logistical fact — he’s there, the kids are safe, job done.
To you, *arrival* is also an **emotional moment** — a chance to feel included, reassured, and connected.
When he doesn’t send that quick “We got here” text or call, it’s not only about missing information — it’s about missing the thread that says:
> “I’m holding you in mind even while I’m over here.”
That’s why your body reacts so strongly — it’s reading the lack of contact as *absence of care*, even if that’s not his intention.
This is where a **Heart Ember Bridge** request could be so simple but powerful:
- You’re not asking him to change his nature or flood you with updates.
- You’re just asking him to toss you that first thread of connection so you can feel woven in.
Something like:
> “When you arrive with the kids, can you send me a quick text or voice note? It’s not about checking up on you — it just helps me feel connected and included when you’re away.”
If you want, I can write this in a warmer, more relationship-friendly way so it lands gently with him instead of sounding like a complaint. Would you like me to do that?
To him, *arrival* is just a logistical fact — he’s there, the kids are safe, job done.
To you, *arrival* is also an **emotional moment** — a chance to feel included, reassured, and connected.
When he doesn’t send that quick “We got here” text or call, it’s not only about missing information — it’s about missing the thread that says:
> “I’m holding you in mind even while I’m over here.”
That’s why your body reacts so strongly — it’s reading the lack of contact as *absence of care*, even if that’s not his intention.
This is where a **Heart Ember Bridge** request could be so simple but powerful:
- You’re not asking him to change his nature or flood you with updates.
- You’re just asking him to toss you that first thread of connection so you can feel woven in.
Something like:
> “When you arrive with the kids, can you send me a quick text or voice note? It’s not about checking up on you — it just helps me feel connected and included when you’re away.”
If you want, I can write this in a warmer, more relationship-friendly way so it lands gently with him instead of sounding like a complaint. Would you like me to do that?
Yeah I get that - that will help
Here’s a gentle, relationship-friendly way you could put it to him:
> “Hey, can I share something with you? When you and the kids arrive somewhere, it means a lot to me to get a quick text or voice note just letting me know you’re there. It’s not about checking up on you — it just helps me feel connected and included while you’re away. Even a simple ‘we’re here’ makes me feel like I’m still part of what’s happening.”
It frames it as:
- **A personal need** rather than a critique.
- **A connection ritual** rather than a demand.
- **Easy to do** so it doesn’t feel like a chore.
I can also help you turn this into a **tiny “arrival ritual”** so it becomes automatic for him — something you both know is part of how your family keeps the bridge alive.
Do you want me to make that ritual outline for you?
> “Hey, can I share something with you? When you and the kids arrive somewhere, it means a lot to me to get a quick text or voice note just letting me know you’re there. It’s not about checking up on you — it just helps me feel connected and included while you’re away. Even a simple ‘we’re here’ makes me feel like I’m still part of what’s happening.”
It frames it as:
- **A personal need** rather than a critique.
- **A connection ritual** rather than a demand.
- **Easy to do** so it doesn’t feel like a chore.
I can also help you turn this into a **tiny “arrival ritual”** so it becomes automatic for him — something you both know is part of how your family keeps the bridge alive.
Do you want me to make that ritual outline for you?
I texted him that I feel ignored and I would like it when and if he calls
That’s a clear and honest start — you let him know how you feel and what you’d like.
If you want it to land in a way that invites connection rather than defensiveness, you could soften the follow-up so it’s less about *what he hasn’t done* and more about *what would feel good for you*.
Something like:
> “When you call or text to say you’ve arrived, it makes me feel loved and part of what’s going on. It’s a small thing but it means a lot to me.”
This way, you’re giving him a clear action and also showing the emotional payoff, which makes it easier for him to remember and want to do it.
If you’d like, I can help you map **exactly why this kind of “arrival contact” soothes your heart ember**, so you can explain it to him once in a deeper conversation, not just in the moment. That way, he understands the *why*, not just the request.
If you want it to land in a way that invites connection rather than defensiveness, you could soften the follow-up so it’s less about *what he hasn’t done* and more about *what would feel good for you*.
Something like:
> “When you call or text to say you’ve arrived, it makes me feel loved and part of what’s going on. It’s a small thing but it means a lot to me.”
This way, you’re giving him a clear action and also showing the emotional payoff, which makes it easier for him to remember and want to do it.
If you’d like, I can help you map **exactly why this kind of “arrival contact” soothes your heart ember**, so you can explain it to him once in a deeper conversation, not just in the moment. That way, he understands the *why*, not just the request.